Belinda Lee’s regret: Not starting a family before mother passed away

Actress feels miserable when she returns home to an empty house

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Photos: Teo Sijia, artiste’s social media
Video: Tay Yixuan

It’s been more than a month since her mother passed away, but Belinda Lee still finds it hard to cope with her absence.

“I don’t know why, but with each day I feel more burdened and the less I can accept that my mother’s gone,” the Peace & Prosperity actress said.

She may laugh and joke while she’s on the set of the upcoming 170-part drama, but she’s empty inside, she said.

“Every time I return home, I see an empty house and I feel miserable,” she added. “My mum loved to decorate the house, so every corner reminds me of her.” And with this, Belinda took a moment to fight back tears.

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Regret
Belinda’s only regret is not getting married or having children before her mother passed away from cancer at age 66. “That was my mother’s greatest wish, to see her youngest daughter settle down,” the actress said. “When I think of this, I feel as if I had let her down.”

The 38-year-old came close to tying the knot five years ago — she and a former beau had gotten engaged and had begun wedding preparations when it all came to an end.

“The wedding was called off, and I could tell my mother was in more pain than I,” Belinda said. “She’d waited for a long time, and she was hurt that her daughter had lost a valuable relationship.”

The actress said her mother would comfort her when she cried every day, placing a hand on her shoulder and telling her not to be sad. “She said, ‘When I was going through tough times, you held Mummy’s hand and we survived it together, now let Mummy do the same for you,’” Belinda said.

“I’ll never forget seeing my mother kneel to pray for God to replace my sorrow with joy.”

Belinda said she hopes to find a suitable partner soon so that she’ll have a fulfilling marriage. “I believe this is what my mother wanted most,” she said.


Encouragement
This year’s Star Awards will be tougher to survive for Belinda: Her mother used to be her best cheerleader in the days before the ceremonies. “She would hug me and pray for me to get an award,” Belinda said. “She’ll tell me, No matter what happens, you’re always the best.”

Belinda has been nominated for the Top 10 Most Popular Female Artistes award this year. “If I get the chance to go onstage, I should mention my mother in my thank-you speech,” she said.

“But my mother can no longer hear what I have to say to her.”

Peace & Prosperity debuts April 4, 7.30 p.m. on Channel 8; watch it now on Toggle-It-First 

This story first appeared on toggle.sg/ch
Story by Teo Sijia

Related:
Belinda Lee: Publishing book was like preparing for wedding 
Belinda Lee yearns for love this year 

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